FALLING IN LOVE...STAYING IN LOVE @ 50

HOMILY ON THE OCCASION OF THE 

50^th GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY OF 

MR. AND MRS. ROMEO AND JESUSA PENAFLOR

What’s with the number 50?

Well, Genesis, which is the first book of the Bible, has 50 chapters. God also promised Abraham that he will not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah if Abraham can find 50 righteous people in that city. God also instructed ancient Israel that every 50^th year is a Jubilee year which means that all debts are cancelled and all properties are returned to their original owners. We have also to remember that 50 days after the Resurrection, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to his disciples.

However, the number 50 is made more meaningful for us today because we remember  50 years ago, inside the Catholic Church of Mandurriao in Iloilo, before Fr. Agustin Espallardo, surrounded with their families and friends, Romeo and Jesusa, promised before the Lord to love one another in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death puts them apart

And now, we are gathered to join them in renewing today that promise of love made 50 years ago. And so, let us give our greetings to Mr. and Mrs. Romeo and Jesusa Penaflor through a round of applause.

I am very sure that after this Mass, there is that one popular question we would like to ask our celebrants: What is your secret? What is your secret to forever?

One time I saw this on Facebook: “Everybody knows how to fall in love, but only a few people know how to stay in love.” What it is saying is that everyone is born to love but not everyone can persevere in love. Why? Because not everyone understand, and practice, the real meaning of love.

St. Paul in our first reading today teaches us that love is not a mere feeling but a practice of virtues. And I know that Sir Romeo and Ma’am Jesusa will fully agree with me. You were able to reach fifty because for you love is not just a feeling but an everyday practice of the virtues of forgiveness, respect, understanding, care and concern. Love for you is active. Love for you is something which changes the person for the better. And so, Sir Romeo and Mam Jesusa, thank you for teaching us today how it is to truly, madly, and deeply love the other.

After this Golden Wedding liturgy, I will no longer tell you to take good care of your children. I will no longer admonish you Sir Romeo to love Jesusa your wife as Christ loves his Church. I will no longer remind you Ma’am Jesusa to be a loving housewife. I will no longer tell you those things, not because marriage expires after 50 years but because our celebration today is enough proof that you have been faithful and fruitful to the promises you made fifty years ago.

However, in our Gospel today, Jesus encourages each of us to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Simply said, Jesus is inviting us to be witnesses of his love in the world today. And this for me is your challenge Sir Romeo and Ma’am Jesusa – that you to continue to love one another in the next 50 years so that others, especially those who are planning to get married or those who are in difficult moments in their married life, will be able to draw inspiration from you; that seeing you, they will be able to say, naa gyud diay forever! This for me is your vocation starting today – that you show to the world that marriage is possible, that marriage is positive!

Rokcy and Ricky in the movie, Bride for Rent, once interviewed Lola Czarina and Lolo Banjamin who have been married for 51 years. There was only one question for the couple: “What is your secret in married life?”

Lolo Benjamin was silent, but Lola Czarina said, “Many told me that I can already leave my husband because he no longer remembers me. However, I cannot do it because I have a promise. I made a promise to have and to hold for richer or for poorer and in sickness and in health. Such promise for me is my secret, our secret.” 

A poem attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, a Jesuit Priest, goes to say:

“Nothing is more practical than… falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.”

So, to Sir Romeo and Ma’am Jesusa, continue to “fall in love and stay in love” for it will decide everything! Amen!

THE JESUS' CHALLENGE

Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Father’s Day

Zec 12: 10-11; 13:1 / Ps 63 / Gal 3: 26 – 29 / Lk 9: 18 – 24

Every day in life, we face challenges. For students to wake up early to make it to school on time is an everyday challenge. For parents to adequately provide for the family is an everyday concern. For some, seeing their faces in front of the mirror is an eternal challenge, and I guess you know why…

But over and above these daily challenges is the challenge which Jesus proposes in our Gospel today. He said: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

These words are easy to memorize but have we asked ourselves if we are we ready to take up the challenge? We have to take note that prior to this challenge of Jesus, he asked his disciples about his identity: “Who do you say that I am?”

You see, Christian discipleship means (1) knowledge about who Jesus is and (2) responding to the challenge that this wonderful discipleship brings.

For this Sunday, we shall not reflect on the identity of Jesus. Let us rather reflect on our response to this call of discipleship: “SELF-DENIAL” and “TAKING UP THE CROSS DAILY.”

“Self-Denial”

It has been part of our human nature to “think only of self.” Every day, we accumulate things and even people all for ourselves: I have to get this cellphone because I need it bahala na ug inutang (never mind if it is on credit). I need you because I want your money, bahala ug bati ka ug nawong – pakaslan (never mind if you are ugly, I’ll marry you)!

The very first requirement of following Jesus is self-denial. Now, denying oneself does not mean hating or leaving the world. Rather, as John Paul II reminds us, denying oneself means accepting the reality that only Jesus can give us fullness of life; denying oneself means considering all that we have right now as gifts from the Good Lord. And as we do this, we become less of ourselves and closer to Jesus, Himself!

“Taking up the cross daily”

No one among you here would like to “take up your cross daily,” right? “Taking up our crosses daily” is not about experiencing pain in order to please God. It is not to suffer for suffering sake! Taking up one’s cross daily means to suffer because of love, and with love. John Paul II again reminds us that “love is the condition for following Him, but it is sacrifice that is the proof of that love.” What makes you a good disciple is not because you enjoy suffering. You are a good disciple because of your love despite the suffering.

A Barangay Captain who is at the same time the president of a church organization in her community shared to me her experience. Matod niya: “Padre, dili man gyud malikayan ang mga problema sa pamilya. Pero ang mas nakalisud kay bisag problema sa uban ako ng ipamahaw, ipaniudto, ug ipanihapon. Kung dili ni gugma dre, dugay rakong namatay!” (According to her: I cannot escape from the problems of family but what is more challenging is while attending to others, their problems have become part of my breakfast, lunch and dinner. If this is not about love, then I must have been dead a long time ago.) She said she has been used to this kind of life.

To me, that Barangay Captain is but one of the many Christians who have responded to the challenge Jesus presented more than two thousand years ago: ““If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

I am sure some of you here have tried the “ice bucket challenge,” or “the running man challenge,” or the “tatlong bibe challenge,” or the “trumpet challenge.”

But have you tried Jesus’ challenge? – Deny yourself and take up his cross daily! Amen.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

Philippine Independence Day

2 Sm 12: 7 – 10.13 / Ps 32 / Gal 2: 16. 19 – 21 / Lk 7: 36 – 8:3 or 36 – 50

After giving their all, why do some people continue to fall out of love? Why do some people continue to become less generous and nonresponsive to the good done to them? Some parents, despite the sacrifices they make for their families, continue to have children who want to move around their own way. Husbands and wives today face the challenge of extramarital affairs despite having been living together for some time now. Nagpaka-martir na gani ka, pero nganong lain man ang iyang gipili? With these experiences they probably would ask, “Tell me, where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you change your mind completely?”

That is probably the feeling, or the question, of God in our first reading today. We read that after having anointed David as king of Israel, after defending him from his enemies, and after giving him every blessing, David committed a serious crime. He murdered Uriah in order to make his wife his own. Probably, God must have asked David the same question: “Tell me, where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you change your mind completely?”

The experience of David is also our experience. If you come to think of it, God has given us so much. From morning, noon, to night time, God has poured out into our lives blessings which make us live. The mere fact that you are here today in this Mass is already a blessing from God. Kay pwede baya atakihon ka or madisgrasya ka before ka niabot dinhi. But despite the generosity of God, we continue to become less loving, less responsive to him. No wonder, God may also ask us today: “Tell me, where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you change your mind completely?”

As children of God our consistent challenge is to return back to Him what we have received from Him. How? Let us consider the example of David in our first reading, the example of Paul in our second reading, and the example of the woman in our Gospel today.

In our first reading, David humbly acknowledged before Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

In our second reading, Paul acclaimed before the Galatians that he has been justified by the Lord: “I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me.”

In our Gospel today, the woman found favor with Jesus because her great love for Him led her to humbly acknowledge her sinfulness.

My dear friends, the first way for us to be able to become more generous, more loving, and more responsive not only to God but also to others is to humbly acknowledge who we are before God and others. Before God, let us humbly acknowledge that we are sinners who are in need of his mercy. Such act will make us less proud and it leads us away from desperation.

Before others, let us also acknowledge that we are brothers and sisters who are in need of one another. By doing so, we avoid becoming like the Pharisee in our Gospel today nga walay lain gibuhat kung dili ang pagpamantay ra gyud! Unless we acknowledge our status before God and others, then, we continue to live in lies and cheat on others. To claim that we are sinners before God and that we are brothers and sisters make us truly re-echo the words in our responsorial psalm today, “Lord, forgive the wrong I have done.”

If God will ask you later today, “Tell me, where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you change your mind completely?” what will be your answer? Can you re-echo the words of David, “I have sinned against God!” Can you re-play the gesture of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet?

“Tell me, where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you change your mind completely?”

A LIFE – GIVING GOD!

TENTH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME

1 Kgs 17: 17 – 24 / Ps 30 / Gal 1: 11 – 19 / Lk 7: 11 – 17

I am 100% sure that no one among you wants to the sing the song of Akon, “lonely, I’m Mr. Lonely. I have nobody for my own. I’m so lonely, I’m Mr. lonely. I have nobody. I’m so lonely.” Why? Because no wants to be lonely. To be lonely is like dying early. No wonder, if you feel alone, then, you say to your loved one, “I won’t last a day without you for lonely is the night when I’m not with you.” Indeed, nobody wants to be lonely.

Loneliness is also the experience of the two widows in our readings today. In our first reading, the widow of Zarephath blamed Elijah for the death of her only son. In our Gospel reading, Jesus upon entering the city of Nain met the widow whose dead son was carried out of the city. What a lonely life for these widows. Nawad-an na gani sila’g mga bana, nawad-an pa gyud sila’g mga anak! However, we learned later that after Elijah stretched his hands and prayed to God, the child’s breath returned. Jesus, too, in our story, touched the coffin and said, “Young man, I tell you, arise!” And the dead man rose and began to speak. Reflecting from our readings today, we realize that our God is a God who delivers us to life. We have a life- giving God! And so, we must remember that anything that does not give life does not belong to God.

My dear friends, our gathering together every Sunday for the Eucharist is not a mere obligation to Church law. Rather, we gather together for the Sunday Eucharist in order to remind ourselves of our life- giving God. Every Sunday, we remember that first Easter Sunday, when Jesus rose from the dead, when life defeated death. And remember, every Sunday, too, we receive Jesus, the Bread of life. No wonder, the best antidote to being lonely is the community. Every Eucharist, we gather around the table of the Lord not as individuals but as a community. And so, we can also say, that the Sunday Eucharist is the antidote to loneliness.

Now, after having been nourished by the Sunday Eucharist and having been healed from loneliness by Jesus, the Bread of Life, we are also challenged to be like Paul in our second reading today to preach this life-giving God to all nations. And in our case, the family must become the first recipients of such a grace. How? By being life-giving ourselves! Fathers can be life-giving if they work hard for the family. Mothers can be life-giving if they take care of the home. Children can be life-giving by respecting their parents. I hope that in the family, the life-giving words of “Thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you” continues to be heard until today ug dili puro nalang pamalikas ug mga away. When the family becomes life-giving then loneliness has no place in the family.

A story is told of a community in Negros Oriental whose Catholic faith is becoming “lonely.” Most of them have transferred to other faiths. And so, there was this retired public school teacher who went out of her way and slowly brought back to the faith those who have changed court. She did it by sending everyday her neighbors short letters about the faith. After some time, everyone was back in the Catholic fold. My dear friends, that teacher is an example of a life-giving Christian. Through her, she brought back to life the dying Catholic faith.

Sam Smith once sang this song for us, “I don’t need diamonds, I don’t need jewels. I don’t need suggestions, in the lonely hour, I need you.” My dear friends, in moments of loneliness, may we also say to God, I don’t need diamonds, jewels, and suggestions. I simply need you. However, let us also combat the loneliness of sin by being life-giving to one another. Amen!